Thursday, September 3, 2015

Hey guys

Well, hello there. This will probably be very brief. I do read when you guys post so don't think I'm ignoring you because I'm not! I totally love you guys!

Umm not much going on here. Went to comic con a couple weeks ago and met Ian Somerhalder (which was AMAZING I TOUCHED HIM) and bought some more artwork.

School is alright. I only go three days a week which is pretty nice and I have some pretty awesome professors. Chemistry is really boring because its pretty much what we did in AP with Baldwin and in lab I'm just ushering my partners along letting them know they're okay, they're doing this right. But that's pretty much all for school.

Still working. so there's that.

Some confusing stuff going on with Jon... like I have no idea if we're dating again or not. We kissed (several times) after work Sunday night and we were really close, but now its as though that night never even happened and I am so confused. I never took him to be like this and neither does his friends. So we're all pretty confused here.

Yup... that's uh pretty much my life. So umm that's that I guess. Peace out.

Saturday, August 1, 2015

Greetings from the other side of the United States

Salutations fellow Earthlings.
Tis I, the great Conqueror Marissa. It's about time I come on here and update y'all on my what's ups and how I'm doin's. I mean. I did move two months ago. I would've posted on here sooner, but let's be honest.. I just didn't feel like it. To be fair, I've been busy with settling in, training and taking care of Niko and my new job. So you can't exactly blame me. Well, you can, I guess. But you shouldn't.
Cause I'm cool.

Let's begin, shall we? Okay. (I feel like I should just make a video for this because I don't even have the motivation to type right now. But I'm too lazy to make a video. So I'll stick to typing.) For starters, I actually finished unpacking my room for once, and it's completely done. Everything is where it should be. The room downgrade is really bumming me out though. Mainly because I don't have the room to add anything else. Which I suppose is for my own good because I won't spend any money on things for my room, or even clothes for that matter. (Psssh. I still buy clothes. I just stuff everything in my drawers and force them shut.)
Also Starbucks is a really awesome company to work for. You get benefits for working part-time, you get real decent hours, you get tips, and the work is so busy that time flies by super fast. And before you know it.. you're going home.

Where to continue.... Oh yeah. So my brother is currently in the process of buying a house. And I've been getting fairly restless lately, and I hate my parents. Normally I don't fret this badly about how annoying and uptight my parents are. But my brother gets to leave. He gets to be free and be an adult. I can't. And I probably won't be able to for a long time now, simply because I don't have the money or the proper job to be able to support myself. And this makes me so upset. I know it shouldn't, especially since I'm only 20. But I can't help it. I've dealt with my parents for so long, and now that we're here in Arizona and I have nowhere to go but home.. I just can't stand them anymore. I want to get out, no.. need to get out. You guys are lucky you get the freedom you do. I'm not allowed to. If I don't text my mom every half hour, she freaks out and thinks I was kidnapped. If I don't tell her where and when I'm going somewhere, she freaks out. I'm done. I'm losing my mind. I want my own place. I want to feel like I have my own space.
Besides that, everything is okay I guess. I'm super bored and lonely all the time because  have nowhere and nobody to hang out with. I've started to write again just to get my mind off of being trapped, and its kinda helping. I'll hopefully have chapter 3 of my wattpad story up soon.
Anyways I'm getting too lazy and all my motivation to post has long since passed. So there.

Love you always,
Marissa


Thursday, June 18, 2015

Sara's Chapter Two

Here's the next installment of my story! I meant to post it Saturday, but I was out of town. So, I'll post it today and hopefully post a new chapter every Thursday.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

As I flung open the heavy door that was the entrance to the residence hall that Kristi and I lived in, I was met with a breeze that was like a soft kiss on my cheeks. Late autumn here in California was a beautiful balance between warm sunshine and cool breezes, which was a welcome change from the wet and chilly weather that I was used to experiencing when I was growing up in the Midwest. I adjusted the straps of my bag and headed down the path that lead to the library. There was a coffee shop along the way that I didn’t have a choice but to stop at. Caffeine was a necessity at this point in my college career.
While trudging along under the weight of my bulging bag, I felt an odd twinge in the back of my neck. It was early in the morning for a Saturday, so there weren’t as many people walking around as there usually were during the week, but there were enough students milling about that someone could get by with watching another person and not be caught. And that is exactly how I felt; as if I were being watched. I scanned my surroundings and didn’t notice anything too out of the ordinary. But the sensation was even more bothersome, as it had been persisting for the last three months.
Pretty soon, though, the unsettling feeling dissipated as my mind began to wander. Ever since I was a child my parents always had to try and reign in my active imagination. It wasn’t that they discouraged creativity and daydreaming, it was just that sometimes my thoughts ran a bit too wild. My parents sometimes thought that I truly believed that the stories that I created were real. I knew that they weren’t, but I have always enjoyed fiction more than reality, so I prefered to surround myself with my imaginary friends and the tales that I had either read or spun myself. To this day I still find myself toying with the art of daydreaming. As I gazed at the trees that bordered the path, I fancied the idea of dainty, sparkling fairies peeking out amongst the leaves. They were preparing for war with the Stone Dwellers who could be found in their cities built deep within the cracks of the sidewalk. For ages the two peoples have been adversaries. Most don’t even remember why, but the elders of both kingdoms could sometimes be heard reciting the tale of the First Battle, which was waged because of an ugly divorce between a fairy and Stone Dweller couple. Since then, the two peoples have been mortal enemies. If you listened close enough, you could hear the catapults being erected by the Stone Dwellers, or even the whistle of a miniscule arrow as the fairies held target practice in preparation of the upcoming battle.
The fantasy that skipped through my head was soon halted as I opened the door to the coffee shop and had to scan the menu to figure out what I wanted to order. It didn’t take long to decide on the same thing that I always bought: a caramel macchiato and an apple cinnamon muffin. As I waited behind the only other person in line, I glanced around the seating area. There were only three other people occupying the familiar, over-stuffed, plush crimson couches and low, round tables with their mismatched, colorful armchairs. They were students, all three with heavy-lidded eyes as they cradled their drinks and poured over open textbooks. I couldn’t see how the soft, warm lighting of the shop would help ease their exhaustion, as I covered a yawn of my own.
“What’ll it be, miss?” said a voice at the counter, and I turned around from my scan of the store to place my order. I was met with a pair of forest green eyes that held a sweet smile in them. The man waiting to take my order was quite attractive. He had a nice California tan, and the type of hairstyle that you could only classify as “surfer hair”. I had seen him working here before, but he had always been making drinks, not taking orders.
I averted my eyes from his and quickly blurted out my order. As I payed the man said, “By the way, I really like your shirt. Space cats are pretty cool.”
I swelled up with pride at my choice of clothing today as I thanked him. I mentally made a note to rub it in Kristi’s face when I returned to the dorm. As I turned around to stand by the counter where they handed out the drinks, out the window I saw a small face surrounded by wild, curly pink hair quickly duck down and out of sight.
I didn’t see anyone else outside near the window. I frowned, wondering what a child would be doing by herself on a college campus. Whatever. She had probably wandered off, and whoever she was visiting couldn’t be far behind. Nonetheless, the uncomfortable feeling of being followed started to creep into my bones again. But she couldn’t be the one that’s been causing that feeling if she’s just visiting family. It was still strange, though. Regardless, she looked harmless enough. Well, at least the top of her head did, anyway. Maybe she had a third arm that had a mind of its own and went around strangling people. I smiled at the ridiculous thought.
I turned back towards the counter. I snuck a glance at the man who took my order, and as I did he looked at me, flashing me a smile that made my heart melt. I blushed and looked away, pretending to be suddenly enthralled by an outdated advertisement of a local band that had played on campus last week.
Just then my name was called, letting me know that my order was finished. I quickly snatched my cup and the small bag with my muffin and pushed through the door and back out into the sunshine. I looked over by the window where the little girl was, but all I saw was a swirl of pink curls and striped tights round the corner. Must have found her parents, I thought to myself as I took a sip of my scalding coffee and headed to the library.
Once at the library, I immediately regretted not grabbing a jacket. It was about ten degrees too cold amongst the maze of bookshelves, but luckily the librarians hated the cold too, because there was always a stack of wool blankets at the front desk. After checking one out and finding a secluded table to claim as my own, I wrapped myself up like a human burrito and pulled out my iPod. It’s impossible for me to study without some sort of music. I flipped through my ever-growing library of music, finally settling on a playlist of The Paper Kites and Mumford and Sons. Taking a sip of my now slightly less boiling coffee and a bite of my muffin, I got to work.
After about two and a half hours of drawing out mechanisms and distinguishing between electrophiles and nucleophiles, I heaved a sigh and leaned back in my chair. I rolled my head from shoulder to shoulder, trying to work out the kinks in my neck. My foot had fallen asleep, so as I stretched out my leg and shook my foot to try and get the blood flowing again, I absentmindedly gazed down a line of shelves, pondering the idea of dust bunnies being actual, live bunnies. Just then, I spied a wisp of pink hiding behind the end of a bookcase. Leaving my books where they were, I got up and decided to investigate.
My foot was still painfully tingly, so I not-so-stealthily hobbled along down the row of books. I glanced at a couple of titles and recognized that I was in the fantasy section of the library. I smiled, comforted by the genre. I didn’t realize that I was on edge until seeing the titles caused me to relax my clenched fists. Something about this kid set me on high-alert. When I got about halfway down the aisle, I suddenly saw a pair of brilliantly blue eyes peek around the corner, and then disappear just as quickly with a gasp.
“Hey!” I called out, a bit too gruffly. My mom has always told me I need to work on my behavior around kids. She used to say I wasn’t gentle enough. It wasn’t my fault little kids gave me the creeps. Especially this one.
Now my foot was back to normal, so I jogged the rest of the way down the aisle, but when I turned the corner, no one was there. I checked the neighboring aisles, but all I found were a couple of students browsing the shelves. They gave me funny looks and told me I should keep a better eye on my little sister when I asked if they saw a little girl with pink hair run by a minute ago. I tried telling them that I didn’t know the girl, but then I realized that may make me sound like a pedophile if I’m looking for a little girl that I don’t know, so I stopped myself and went back to my table where my books were at.
When I got there, I noticed that the half-uneaten muffin that I had sitting by my coffee cup was gone. But when I sat down, I found two undeniably pink hairs laying on my open book. That little shit.

Sunday, June 7, 2015

Sara's Chapter One

So, uh, as promised: Chapter One

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Oh my God what is that noise? The thought crashed through my cloudy brain as I jolted myself awake. My body was stiff as I slowly rolled over in my bed to turn off what I suddenly realized was my blaring alarm clock. With only four hours of sleep, morning came uninvited. But, then again, I never have been much of a morning person. I flopped my face back into my pillow and groaned loudly, not ready to untangle myself from my warm cocoon of blankets.
“What time did you go to bed this time?”
I turned my face just enough to peek out from the tent that was made by my auburn bangs hanging in my eyes and the pillow that my face was pressed into to watch my roommate, Kristi, gave me a concerned look as she gracefully sat up in the bed on the other side of the room and pulled her long, sable hair up into a knot on the top of her head.
“Not early enough,” I mumbled, and, with more effort than it should have taken, I worked on pushing myself up into a sitting position. Yawning and stretching, I began to make a mental list of all the things I needed to do today. It was Saturday, but it was the Saturday before fall finals, and I had a heavy class load this semester. Not that it was different than any other semester here at Berkeley as a chemistry major. I heaved a sigh as I ran my fingers through my shoulder-length, messy hair.
“Rosie, you need to take care of yourself. Sleep is important for your health. You wouldn’t want to make yourself sick right before finals, would you?”
Here we go again, I groaned internally. Kristi was always harping at me to take better care of myself. Get more sleep! Eat more vegetables! Stop watching so many cult TV shows and get some exercise! When was the last time you saw daylight?! Easy for her to say, she had more of a social life than I did. And she was a psychology major. She wasn’t required to practically live in a lab. But, we had been friends since elementary school, so she felt obligated to be concerned for my well-being.
I pretended to listen to her rant about a healthy lifestyle as I started to rifle through my closet. I didn’t need to be in the lab today, but I was headed out to the library to review Organic Chemistry, since that would be my first final of the week, so something comfortable was needed. I settled for my favorite pair of skinny jeans, a thin, lavender long sleeve shirt with a space cat on the front, and my pair of beaten up teal Converse. They were starting to get holes in the sides where the canvas connects with the rubber. I’d have to get new ones soon. It wouldn’t take much convincing to get Kristi to take me to the mall. She’s always jumped at any chance to spend some extra cash on a new outfit. And she had a car on campus and I didn’t, and even though we shared each other’s bras she refused to let me touch her Beetle. That piece of crap, rusty Slug Bug was her baby. One wrong move around that tin can and in a blink of an eye she went from Mother Teresa to the devil himself. She even threatened to cut a guy’s balls off just for leaning on the hood of her car. He was trying to be smooth and was hoping to get lucky that night. All he ended up getting was a shameful walk home in the rain.
“Really? Do you have to wear that shirt?” Kristi scoffed, looking at my outfit with distaste. “Honey, you’re gorgeous, but when you wear things like that, it’s a total turn off to the guys.” She was always complaining about my choice in fashion. She said it was too nerdy and weird for any decent man.
“Don’t worry, it’s not like I’ll be parading around in public with you. I’d like to save myself the embarrassment of being seen with you when you’re wearing that,” I teased as she pulled on a rather flattering, tight, ocean blue off-the-shoulder top that complimented her dark hair.
She rolled her eyes and threw a pair of dirty rolled up socks at my face as I went out to the bathroom to brush my teeth.
It was a wonder we had even been friends for this long. We had always been complete opposites. Early on in our social lives, she became known as the pretty popular girl that every guy drooled over, what with her long, lean legs and that doe-eyed smile. She had a way with words and kindness that made everyone love her. And then there was me. The awkward, quiet girl who kept her nose stuffed in a book half of the time and wore “nerdy and weird” clothes like space cat or fandom shirts. Sure, everyone told me I was pretty, and I was always friendly with the people around me, but I had a hard time actually connecting with people. So it had always been a shock to me when Kristi decided that she wanted to jump rope with me one day in elementary school. And since then, I couldn’t get rid of her, no matter how hard I tried. Not that I ever tried that hard.
When I finished brushing my teeth, I filled my mouth with water before exiting the bathroom, and headed back down the hall to my room. She’s gonna hate me for this, I thought wickedly. Before I could grasp the handle the door was flung open by Kristi on the other side. She flinched when she saw me, startled that I was right in the doorway. Her eyes started to widen in horror as she noticed my puffed out cheeks, but before she could react and slam the door on me, I spit the water out, hitting her right in her freshly made-up face.
“That’s what you get for throwing your smelly gym socks at me! Those things reek!” I cackled as I sprinted down the hallway, leaving her spluttering and wiping at her eyes at the entrance of our room.
“Game on, Rosie. You’re done for now!” she coughed out, making me laugh even harder. Yeah, right. She was too nice to pull out the big guns. Where I, on the other hand, could be ruthless when it came to jokes and pranks.
When I figured it would be safe to go back to the room, I stealthily crept back, keeping my eye out for any ambushes that might be aimed at me as my feet padded softly down the maroon-colored carpet that covered the hallway floor. When I made it to the door I grasped the cold metal handle and turned it slowly, bracing myself for an attack. But nothing came as I swung the door open, doing a quick scan of the room. Kristi wasn’t there. She was probably still in the bathroom, fixing her hair and reapplying her make-up.
Before I could give her a chance for retaliation, I threw my books into my bag and headed out for the day.

I'm back

Hey guys, sorry for abandoning this thing.

Holy crap, it's been a long and wild year. I don't even know where to begin with some of the things that have been going on with me. You all know most of the events that have happened, so I'll spare you the recount of those. But, I don't really know if you all know about the mental illness stuff that's been going on.

So, I don't want to go into detail here, but I'll just kind of give you a brief reader's digest version of what's been going on. So, ever since I was a toddler I've had pretty bad anxiety. Growing up it got to the point where I was having a panic attack nearly every day over something. Senior year I got put on medication. That helped a lot. I was managing things a lot better. But then last summer came along, and for some reason I fell into depression. Like, to the point where I just didn't care any more, and suicidal thoughts actually started creeping in. Went to doctors and stuff at school, they diagnosed me with depression and changed my meds. But they don't seem to be helping as much as the last ones did at the beginning. By the end of the school year even Connor thought that things were getting worse. So, I have started seeing a psychiatrist and hopefully that will help. (Wow, this turned out a lot longer than what I planned. Whatever.)

In the meantime, I've discovered that writing is an amazing source of counseling and "medication". It's not the cure-all for me, but my god does it help. I'm going to post the first chapter of the story that I've been working on in a second post after this. I have the first 6 chapters done, but I think I'll post one chapter a week on here (in case I need to change things in previous chapters).

Marissa, Rachel, I'm listening to the chillstep Pandora station right now, and I'm really liking it.

Here's some songs that I love that I have been listening to recently (not chillstep, more rock and alternative):
This chick is pretty badass.

So, these guys are a metalcore band. Some of their songs are scary and I don't like them, but they have some that I really do like. This is probably their most popular song. I'll post another good one by them right after this one. (Plus, I think Oliver Sykes, their lead singer, is pretty attractive. And Connor agrees with me haha.)

I've posted songs by this next band before, but they are pretty cool and just came out with a new album a couple of weeks ago. Here's one of their most recent music videos.

Alright, well, that's about it out of me. Check out the next post to see the first chapter of the story I'm writing.

Love,
Sara


Wednesday, April 29, 2015

I apologize for going M.I.A. on here, but it looks like I'm not the only one. I did see your post last month Marissa I promise! No seriously, I did.


If you would like to listen to something utterly beautiful, click on the video. I promise you won't be disappointed.

Honestly, this is a beautiful anime. Give it a try this summer if you have the feels for it. I've never watched anything, let alone anime, with such beautiful music. I'll try and post another one in the next post I do. But basically this anime is about Tatsumi who goes to the Capital to join the Imperial Army to raise money for his poverty stricken village. But the capital and the people in it are despicable humans  that could care less about the villages outside the capital. So, Tatsumi join Night Raid, a group of assassins leading the Revolutionary Army to kill the Prime Minister who is manipulating the young Emperor. It's the characters that make this show so amazing. They are so loveable and funny and you end up calling Leone "Sis" and Bulat "Bro" because they really feel like your Sis and Bro like Night Raid see them. And they are all just badass. A lot of people say the last five episodes sucked because the anime didn't want to wait for the manga to finish, so the anime created it's own ending. But I think the ending is beautiful. Akame ga Kill!

Ok, enough rant. School is ending soon and I only have a research paper left to do. Haven't been doing much of anything. I sleep a lot. And every day it's harder and harder to get out of bed. I've missed the majority of my history and psychology classes since midterm. I spend a lot of time cuddling with Lovey because she's always there and wants to sleep on my bed. I don't cuddle with Indy because if I move just a little she gets crabby. Lovey understands.

My mom and I have gone to two comic cons. I love them even though I hate being around so many people. The last one we went to was so crowded that I wanted to start crying the whole time. But everything there makes it so cool. The cosplay, the vendors, the actors, all of it. I especially love the art and have decided that I want to hang nothing but art in my room. So no posters from WalMart or Five Below. I met the lady that does all the Disney and Doctor Who crossover art. And paid this guy to draw a 5 minute drawing of my favorite character from that anime. If you ever want to see it, ask me next time you see me because for five minutes, it's really freaking good.

Well, I'm going to cuddle with Lovey and then go to work.

See ya

"There's no way to train your heart to be invulnerable"
-Lubbock

Thursday, March 19, 2015

Awaiting Mass Destruction

TOP OF THE MORNIN TO YA. 
I'm waiting for my class to start, so I figured I'd post something. SINCE EVERYONE ELSE HAS DECIDED TO NEGLECT THE BLOG. JERKS.

These past few months have taken a toll on me. There's so much that I have to deal with. And my mom is getting mad at me because I haven't packed all that much yet. I haven't had the timeeeee. When I'm not working, I'm at school. When I'm not at work or school (which is never), I have piles of homework to do. If and when I get a day off, which hasn't happened in three weeks.. I want to sit on my butt and just not worry about anything. I don't want to pack. I don't even want to move for that matter. I've avoided telling my parents that I don't even want to move, solely because my dad is happy working in Arizona now. His boss is super nice to him, and my brother even got a better job as well. They're happy out there, I don't want to rip that from under their feet. Besides, I can just use my time in Arizona to get myself rolling on my own two feet and hopefully begin my career as a writer. (Hopefully the solitude will help me adjust to a schedule to begin writing of any kind). And my parents are getting me a dog. Which my mom is trying to dissuade me again because she thinks my new dog will get attached to everyone else just like Popsicle did. UMMM NO. Nobody will touch my puppy until he/she learns who their mother is. If they do, I will murder their faces. I want somebody to attach myself to while I'm out there. My sister is there for sure, but she works all the time. Plus, I feel like endlessly seeking her attention will annoy her to the ends of the earth. So I'd like to get a dog whom will give me unfaltering love and affection. 

Furthermore, most of you know by now who Joe is. I feel like I should elaborate because it seems like he just popped out of nowhere from what little details I've shared. Okay.. anyways. Joe is my coworker. He was hired back in December, and we never really talked all that much back then. We were both just keyholders and would only work together every so often. Quite recently however, we've been working more together and it's just been a blast. We joke around and poke fun at one another, and it's all around my ideal situation at work. It wasn't until recently that Joe began to seem more interested in me. (I feel like I should add that he got divorced from his wife, whom were married for ten years, and that he's 28 years old. Eck.) When I first met him, I honestly had a crush on him. He's a super good guy. He's really nice, funny, and understanding. But then I learned he was 28, and I pushed myself away completely. I still joked around with him, sure. But I sort of avoided anything more intimate than just being friends. (Ask Alex, I was frantic about texting him because I wanted it to be casual and friendly, and I'm not the greatest at realizing when I've flirted with someone.) But somehow, things escalated. And Joe admitted that he liked me. At this point I was both flattered and upset. I didn't know what to do. Hell I still don't know what to do. It's not everyday a 28 year old who was recently divorced admits he has feelings for you. I never actually told him that I liked him back. I still haven't even mentioned it. But he's kinda assumed that I do since I didn't deny it. Don't get me wrong.. I really do like Joe. Even maybe romantically. Who wouldn't? But he scares me. He honestly frightens me. This older, cute, and nice guy who shares a lot in common with me actually likes me. It's unnerving. I don't know how to react. I don't know if I should pursue his interest or to just push it away entirely. I'm moving, so nothing good would come of pursuing it, and I wouldn't want to hurt him by just leaving if something did happen. But I also don't want to hurt his feelings by turning him away, plus there's the fact that we have a scary amount of things in common. In general I feel like myself, as well as increasingly happy when I'm near Joe. And I feel safe, as well as comfortable around him. 
Yesterday though.. I started to panic because things were definitely escalating. I mean.. Joe had technically pushed me into a date with him. (Well.. pushed isn't the right word. He offered, and I didn't technically tell him no.) So we're going to Portillo's tomorrow. After that he wants to hang out for a bit and be nerds. Wooo. This was all well and fine.. Until I started to feel trapped. I wanted to scream because I didn't want to get stuck in a relationship again. Luis officially scared me of relationships and I don't want to feel that amount of stress and pressure to please another person again. So I think I've decided to talk to Joe and pursue a slower pace. I do like him, I'm just not ready for anything yet. Besides, I'm not entirely sure if my feelings for him are real, or if they've just come about because he's interested in me. So.. a slower pace should settle out my fears and concerns. We'll see how it goes from there.

Anyways, this has gotten super long. But my point has been made.
Until next time I feel like sharing my thoughts,
Marissa <3

Friday, February 6, 2015

TWO-OH-ONE-FOUR

Marissa here! Really should be doing homework. But you know how it goes. I'm not really sure what I'm doing right now, so bear with me. DONE.

Did you have a resolution last year and did you keep it?
My resolution from last year... I don't exactly remember what it could have been. It probably had something to do with Luis, and probably losing weight. Neither went according to plan, I'd say. But it's all well and covered with buttercream frosting.

Do you feel bad about not keeping it? 
Not in the very least. I probably should feel some remorse for either subject. But I've been to hell and back. So nope.

Favorite song: 
Honestly, my favorite song has to be My Dear by Matty Mullins (Video down below). 18 by One Direction is also one of my favorites as well. 

Most annoying/least favorite song: 
Oh dear. This one has to go to Fancy by Iggy Azalea. My mom absolutely loves this song. BUT IT DRIVES ME UP A WALL I CAN'T STAND IT.

Favorite actor/actress: Actor-
Mmmmmmm. Colin O'donoghue of course. O' Captain. My Captaaiiiinnnnn. I know that I technically didn't meet him until 2015, but daaammmn. I can't just pick anyone else. YELL AT ME ALL YOU WANT SUCKERS.




Actress- 
Jessica Lange for sure. For those of you who don't know, she's the main evil lady from American Horror story. She plays every part she does so well. And I just love her so much. 


Celebrity crush, or anyone in that realm of people you don’t know but desperately feel the need to touch (can be more than one, I understand):
MARKIPLIER.

Something new that you got into this year: 
I got into quite a few things this year. It's been a hell of a ride. For example: I expanded my realm of music to chillstep, some dubstep, and other things like that. (If you don't know what chillstep is, I highly recommend it for homework.)

Something that you moved away from: 
Does being desperate for a boyfriend count? I kind of got over the idea that I NEED one for survival. I kind of just want to do me right now. I mean, if a cute guy adored me and wanted to hold my hand, I'd be silly to turn him down. But I'm not waiting in the rain anymore. I'm more worried about me at the moment. 

Favorite movie:
There are so many that I absolutely loveeeeddd. TFIOS for sure is one of them, as well as Mockingjay. If I had to pick a favorite though.. I'd say Guardians of the Galaxy. Groot is absolutely adorable. 
Favorite artist:
MATTY MULLINS.
Favorite book: 
I read way too much last year. Ermmmm.. Lets just go with Eleanor and Park. OOOHH. And Anna and the French Kiss. They were both really awesome books to read! 

Book(s) you still want to read: 
Fangirl. I'm currently starting it too! So let the adventure begin! 
I also have to read the Maze Runner series..

Favorite video game/video game moment:
Being the total nerd here, I'm going to say Pokemon Alpha Sapphire. My favorite video game moment is when I found my damn horse in Skyrim after searching for it for like two damn weeks. STRAIGHT. Stupid horse was not where it was supposed to be. 

Best thing you bought:
Ah crap. I came up with this damn question and I don't even know how to answer it. My laptop! I totally forgot I bought my laptop last year. And I'm currently typing on it. I do believe I am an idiot.
^^^^^^^^^^(last two courtesy of Marissa <3) THANKS ALEXANDRIA> LOTS OF LOVE MY POTATO.

Favorite fictional character: 
My all time favorite fictional character is Link from the Legend of Zelda. We've had many spectacular adventures together. We even bonded once more through several more games in 2014. 

TV show?
In 2014, I started so many damn shows. The top three that I absolutely have to mention are: (INSERT OBNOXIOUS UNNEEDED DRUMROLL HERE) Sherlock, Dexter, and American Horror Story. They were the light in the dark tunnels of stress.

Favorite class: 
Definitely English 102. There were so many people in that class that tried to get me to talk, and it was cool that they acknowledged my major in English. They all did the best they could to help me with it. 

Favorite teacher: 
Johanna Cummings. She was my English 102 professor. I love her because she was always encouraging me to break my anxiety shell, and she helped me with anything I needed. 

Favorite thing to do/hobby:
Binge watch. For hours. AND WE ALL WONDER WHY I HAVEN'T GOTTEN ANYWHERE IN LIFE YET.

Prefer to be in high school or college? 
College. I enjoy the free time I have in between my classes, and it's just a lot more.. mature. Plus the material covered in my classes is far more informative and interesting compared to my high school classes.

Favorite moment of school this year:
I don't really do much at school.. and I can't really think of anything relevant o say here. So.. let's go with my first time getting soup at my school. WE HAVE SOME DELICIOUS CHICKEN NOODLE SOUP. 
What do you miss most about high school/what do you miss least(still relevant I suppose)?
I feel like I"m repeating everything I said last year.. But the thing I miss the most from high school is having classes with you lovely ladies. 

Is Pocahontas a princess?
I'M JUST GOING TO SKIP THIS QUESTION BECAUSE YOU ALREADY NO MY DAMN ANSWER YOU WENCHES.
Who has inspired you the most this year (can be someone you know or don’t know)? 
Ermm... Errr. Emmmmmmmmmm. This is going to be super lame, but the person who kinda inspired me the most this year is myself. I talked through things with myself every night and let myself know that I can get through everything, no matter how hard it is. If I had to expand my thought spectrum, I'd have to say Alexandria. She was always there for me when I needed something or advice of any kind. 

Something that gave you hope for the world: 
My favorite Youtubers. The select few that I do watch actually give back to the community and donate to charities. They often hold events to raise money to donate as well, in which they involve their fans/subscribers to jump in and join them.

What has this world come to??
A BLACK HOLE OF DESPERATION AND CONFUSION AND HELL
Any paranormal experiences: 
Not that I can remember.. The only thing I ever questioned was when my brother's cat was staring at my wall for a whole five minutes. But she's not the brightest crayon in the box. So not really a big deal.

Show us a picture of something you created!(I don't even know why this is still here) 
I will totally upload a picture of the lampshade I painted. JUST GIVE ME A FEW DAYS TO GET THE PICTURE ON MY LAPTOP.

Favorite quote: 
"Don't be a salad. Be the best goddamn broccoli you could ever be!" -Pewdiepie

Guilty pleasure: 
Eating a whole bag of Reeses in one sitting. IT HAPPENS MORE OFTEN THAN YOU THINK. BUT I DON'T FEEL GUILTY ABOUT IT. DOES THAT COUNT?

Absolute favoritest moment/event of this entire year: 
Getting to the climb to the drop in Hades with Alexandria (whilst in the first car), and singing What Makes You Beautiful by One Direction. Yup.
Worst moment:
The worst moment was the day after Luis and I broke up. Honestly, my life felt completely empty. I wasn't quite sure what to do with myself at that point in time. So I laid in bed for almost the entire day and just.. cried. But then I got up the next day and moved forward. 

Thing that got you through the rough patches (can be a song, quote book, movie, person(s), etc):
For sure Alexandria. You helped me through so much. Thank you.
And also baths. I liked to sit in the bathtub, relax, and just cry. It sounds really depressing, I know. But it always helped me through everything.

Song that makes you feel good every time: 
Girl Almighty by One Direction. THEY MAKE ME SO HAPPY. 

Bad habit you picked up: 
Giving up. Does that count? I would give up on almost everything I did. I always felt like I could never do any better.

Place you wanted to visit the most: 
Arizona. I miss my home, to be honest. I miss my sister, and I miss my cacti. They always.. stuck.. on me. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAKJBFBFFBFFHFBHCCASDFANFUFIF.

What's your proudest moment?
When I gathered my courage enough to get on Hades. HIGHLIGHT OF MY ENTIRE YEAR. ITS QUITE SAD NOW THAT I THINK ABOUT IT.

Emus or ostriches? 
This year, I'm going with ostriches. I recently watched a video about ostriches.. and they're quite.. fancy.

Person you were close to before, but grew away from: 
My brother. This doesn't technically count because I kinda grew apart from him when he met Sarah. But now that he's 21 and can drink.. he doesn't really want to hang out with me at all. He leans more towards his friends who will drink with him, and not his loser sister who won't even take a sip of alcohol. 

Any dreams that stuck out (like actual sleeping dreams):
I don't remember any of them! I know I actually told you guys quite a few of them though.. so YOU ALREADY KNOW.

Thing you wish you could change about this year:
Honestly, I wouldn't change a thing. Everything that happened helped me grow as an individual, and I feel better about myself because I made it through everything.

Something you would never change:
Who I am. Luis tried to change me quite a few times, but it would never happen. I love who I am and I have to say I'm a pretty chill person. 

Thing you wish you could change about yourself: 
ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. I AM WHO I AM AND I LOVE IT. (Although I could settle for losing my double chin. Lol.)

Thing you wish would have happened, but didn’t: 
My nephew coming over for Christmas. I was so excited to see him.. But plans got cancelled and I never did see him for Christmas. 

Someone you wish you would’ve gotten closer to:
Nobody, really. MARKIPLIER. MY BOO. I got pretty close to everyone this year. But I do wish I had at least met someone I adore (either from youtube or or one of my shows, or one of my bands). It would've been cool to talk to one of them.

Someone (or more than one) you did get close to:  
I got pretty close to all my coworkers, and I feel as if I got somewhat closer to all you guys. 

Something new you learned this year: 
I learned that ducks have corkscrew penises. Thanks Sara. It will stay with me forever.

Tell me a story, any story:
Uggghhhhh. Too lazy. I gotta think about this one.

Favorite selfie! Sounds lame, but it’s good to look at yourself and be happy with what you see:
I really loved my costume, so definitely this one.

Favorite moment while hanging out with friends: 
The entire Dells trip. ALL OF IT. I LOVED EVERY MOMENT. ESPECIALLY THE AMAZING COOKING WE DID AT THE CAMPFIRE. 

Favorite moment with family:
Pretty much all of Woodhaven. It was especially fun when we brought Chris with us and I got to hang out with him all weekend like the awesome Aunt that I am. 

Favorite holiday:  
Christmas. I loved Secret Santa for sure. That was a hell of a night. (:

"Holy canoli that was unexpected!" moment: 
That would be when I actually enjoyed going on Hades. And the continuous amounts of times I wanted to keep riding it. Holy Canoli.

Any news stories or worldwide events that left an impact on you?
Not realllllyy. I don't watch the news, as I said last year. I kinda prefer it that way. DON'T JUDGE ME.

What career path were you considering?
English and Literature. Aiming to be a writer, as most of you know. I just need to get on my ass and write some more. 

Something you did that you've never done before?
Um.. Um... UMMMMM. I can't say go on a rollercoaster cause I've been on one before. I can't think of anything legitimate to put here. WEARING A THONG. THERE WE GO. I STARTED WEARING THONGS.

Something you did that you'd never do again?
DATED A DOUCHEBAG. This is getting really aggressive. Haha.

Something you wish you would've done?
Gone to a One Direction concert. I totally wanted to go see them live last year, but the opportunity never came up for me to go. *Sad face* 

Do you feel you are the same person you were when you started the year?
Definitely not. I feel a lot more mature and more self satisfied. I love who I am now, and I appreciate everything a lot more than I used to.

What's changed/what hasn't?
My self-image changed a lot more than anything, and my lust for chocolatey goods hasn't change in the slightest. CHOCOLATE IS LOVE. CHOCOLATE IS LIFE.

Favorite conversation(if you can remember it): 
I can't even remember what I had for breakfast. I remember when Alex and I had a conversation about Evan Peters from American Horror Story. It was probably about how cute he is. 

Any days that were absolutely perfect and didn't go wrong?
I feel like a day that I slept all day fits perfectly here. For one, I slept all day. And for two, there wasn't a chance for anything to go wrong.

Did any of your goals change?
I suppose so. My goals went from: BOYFRIEND BOYFRIEND BOYFRIEND. To: LIFE, ME, FRIENDS, AND WORK. (:

Would you consider this a good or bad year, overall:
I'd say it was a pretty damn good year. There were a few ups and downs, but overall it was pretty satisfying. 

One word to sum up 2014:
BITCHES

Any regrets?
Not really. At least none that I can think of. Maybe denying that Luis was a douche?

Any resolutions for 2015?
Do me. Simple as that. NOT IN THE SEXUAL WAY YOU PERVERTS. THAT'S JUST SOMETHING I ENJOY ON THE SIDE. 

Hopes/goals for 2015:
Hopefully figure out what to do with me life and find the inner Buddha within me to discover the secret to world peace so that I can bring it forth unto the world so I become deity of the world. This way I can make my way to the top and dominate the world and make you all my infinite slaves forever. You will be treated well as slaves. I will feed you and love you and give you ice cream if you are good. But if you are bad I will make you take a time out in the corner. So don't forget the Reeses. And at this point if anyone is still reading this, good job. I'm proud of you. I shall now tell you a recipe for snakes. Just kidding. Nobody wants to make a snake. That's ridiculous. 

I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don't have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you give me Reeses now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you.