So Done Right Now

God I am so sick of being sad. I feel pathetic because I have been sad and lonely quite a bit lately. And you know why? Because I miss Connor. God, talk about having the Bella Syndrome. I swore to myself I was never going to be like that. Not let my happiness be dictated by a guy. And look what is happening. I can't even read Eleanor and Park without getting teary-eyed because Park reminds me too much of Connor. I seriously want to slap myself right now. Love is stupid.

AND I WANT TO BE EXTREMELY CLEAR RIGHT NOW THAT IF YOU GUYS EVER FEEL THIS WAY OR HAVE FELT THIS WAY, PLEASE DO NOT TAKE OFFENSE TO WHAT I HAVE SAID ABOVE. I DO NOT THINK THAT OTHER PEOPLE ARE PATHETIC WHEN THEY FEEL THIS WAY, BECAUSE THEY HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO FEEL HOWEVER THEY ARE FEELING. I JUST HATE FEELING THIS WAY, SO I BECOME MAD AT MYSELF AND CALL MYSELF THAT.

Next topic: WE CANNOT ALLOW THIS BLOG TO DIE. Yes, I am guilty as well for not posting in close to probably two months, but lets keep posting. Just blab about anything. Seriously. If you want to spend fifteen minutes discussing your love for tofu, go for it. (But seriously, who even likes that stuff?) I will listen. I plan on posting more often, and I hope that you guys do too.

I cleaned out my old clothes last night and this morning, and my god I needed to do this a couple of years ago. I have stuff from middle school still shoved in the back of my drawers. I literally have three garbage bags full of clothes that I am selling to Plato's Closet or donating to Share Stuff. Now I feel like I want to go shopping. Maybe this was not such a good idea...

Music time, I suppose.

Marissa I know you know these guys: Sleeping With Sirens. So far, this is the only song of theirs that I have on my iPod, because they do scream a bit, and I have never liked screaming in music. But I really like this guy's voice. It's unique and cool.

Here's a song by Good Charlotte that I like. Haven't really listened to much else but them, but I do like this song. It's pretty catchy.

I honestly don't have much else to say. I'm just mentally tired, really. I don't want to do anything. Not even read or listen to music. My life has been feeling rather monotonous lately, and I am just tired.

With love,

Sara

I kinda need this.

Hey ladies, so I know this post is probably pointless since nobody really even looks at it right now anyways. But, I want to get this out somehow. I'm so frustrated and lonely and I just want to make myself busy right now.

This song, although it has screaming in it, so some of you may not want to watch it, is literally my favorite song right now.
Anyways, so. I was up til like 4am Saturday morning.. and I made the crazy decision to make an instagram. I made this decision mainly based on the fact that instagram was the only way I'd find out who my nephew's girlfriend was. So I made one. And they showed me who in my phone's contacts had an instagram. I saw Luis' name. Now we're still friends, so I figured I'd check him out and follow him. So.. I went to his profile. (Jeeez Marissa. Stalker much?) Anyways. I was here I so fondly discovered that my deliciously fabulous ex boyfriend already has another girlfriend. If I could egg anyone's house, I seriously would egg both his and his new girlfriend's house. Although, to catch her house, we'd have to go all the way to New Jersey. Road trip anyone? I was like alright, that's cool. He's dating someone already. He got over me fast.
So.. I checked it out further and went to HEEERRR profile. Yay. I looked at all her fabulous pictures. She is really pretty. Gotta admit. And I read some of Luis' comments, in which he called her babe. TEN WEEKS AGO. Luis and I broke up TEN WEEKS AGO. He started dating her either before we broke up, or directly after we broke up. Now mind you, I had something to say to him about this. Cause yeah, it fucking hurt. So, I sent him a very admirable text. What did I say you ask? Well, I quote, "I FUCKING HATE YOU. YOU'RE AN ASSHOLE. FUCK YOU AND I WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU." Sounds quite cheesy and real ex girlfriendish to say, and not really like me at all, but I was hurt and I wanted to let him know that. He replied, extremely confused, so I sent him a text mentioning his girlfriend Gabbi's name, and basically said "FUCK YOU." I never texted him after that. Needless to say, I am no longer his friend and I swear he never actually fucking cared. Quite splendid to find out, eh? I'm pretty sure he's cheated on me twice. I don't fucking care anymore. I hope his guilt swallows him alive, and may he burn in hell. Him and his new girlfriend. So yeah, that was my fantabulous weekend.

I'm done with my rant. I just thought I'd let you all know what was going on in my spiteful life. However, seeing the lovely ladies yesterday made me feel so much better about everything. I wish I could live with each  of you every day. You are the reason I can still smile even though my asshole of an ex boyfriend is so ill determined on making me feel miserable about myself.  But that's okay, cause I have you ladies to look forward to.
I'm kinda tired now. I think I might go take a bath.
I love you,
Stay golden, pony boy.
Marissa <3

Blah

So. It is now 3:30am, and I cannot sleep. That is all.

Long Time No Talk

YO YO YO!!! WHAT UP MY PEEPS?
WHERE HAVE ALL MY HOME SKILLET BISCUITS AND GRAVY GONE?!!!
This blog is being abandoned. We are abandoning each other :O I hear from some of you everyday, but then there are others who i dont know what's going on with. Do you not want to talk to me? I have texting, you are welcome to send me a message. Jeez. I saw Maryanne yesterday!!! I saw Maryanne yesterday!!! Seeing her made my day better. Now i just want to hear from EVERYONE more often.
So its about time i posted about something. I have found an AMAZING NAME if i am blessed with a baby boy one day in the future!!!! Not anytime soon though. I gotta find a beau that loves me and will love me for all the years to come. In the meantime, Zayn is my man and i will be fighting Marissa with spoons in order to win him back. And once i win, Zayn and I will have the honeymoon that should have gone as planned if i had not messed it up. In this honeymoon we will go to New Zealand and do lots and lots of fun activities: sky diving, scuba diving, paragliding, mountain climbing, ill even throw in skinny dipping. ALEX IS THIS INSPIRING ENOUGH?!?!?!?! HINT. HINT. ;)  Then JOAQUIN MACUILXOCHITL Malik will be born!!!
Ok, this is going to jumbled up a bit, but try to follow with me. So the name that i have come to love ever since i was a little girl has been Joaquin. As you guys know i dont have a middle name. Well the Aztec culture has always fascinated me, Ive even built this idea in my mind that im a princess. So a conversation we had on kik (another random conversation, so join us) was about names, of course corpse party was becoming intermingled in the conversation. But the point is that i looked up some names and the one that caught my attention was Macuilxochitl, which means "five flowers," but the version that is adorable is Xochipilli, which means "flower prince;" these are two names for the god of love, games, dance, flowers... What im trying to say, i might consider these for middle names for my future children.
Sorry that was out of the blue.
So as some of you know, im taking two summer courses For one of them i had to read a 300 page book and write a five page paper on it, all in a week. Sara wouldnt help me!!! Where did the encouraging Sara go?!! All she said was "sucks for you." OUCH OUCH OUCH. Oh well, it wasnt fun, but i got a 96% on it. So im happy with that. And next week we have midterms. Can you believe that six weeks of my summer have gone by?! After these next five weeks are up we will only have a part of August to enjoy! And not so much either, work has to added into the big picture. Well i must find the time to relax.
The other day my little brother was singing Rixton's "Me and My Broken Heart" with such emotion, so what do i do? I ask him if he was sad that he hasnt seen his little friend. He hates being picked on so he obviously didnt respond well to that question. Then two weeks after he sang that song, he started to sing Magic's "Rude." I told him that i could see him saying that in the future if his father in law didnt accept.

Time for music. Here are some songs that ive come to like (thanks to my brother). Enjoy!!
 

Had to add that last one in there. You dont have to understand, just take in the emotion.
Looking up these videos has reminded me of one. Omg i think its hysterical!!!

Im done for today. Hope you guys start to post.
Love, G