I'm back!

It's official. I have an obsession with Sleeping With Sirens and Johnny Craig. Kellin Quinn from Sleeping with Sirens is the cutest person to me right now. 

Seriously. How can you not love him? He's adorable. He thinks he's a dinosaur. 

On a more serious note. So.. I've been precariously searching within my career choices for my English major.. and debating whether or not I truly want to be a teacher. I mean yeah. I think I would enjoy it. But lets pick apart the pieces of being a teacher, shall we? Or rather, let's not. We all know what being a teacher entails. So I've furthered my outlook on the English department. I've looked into being an editor, a grant specialist, and a public relations specialist. An editor.. well y'know.. edits stuff. A grant specialist is someone who is hired by companies to write in favor of the company to appeal to larger companies as to why the smaller company should receive money from the larger company. Basically stating why the larger company would benefit from funding the smaller company. I thought it sounded fun. But I don't know. And the public relations specialist basically appeals to all the people in and out of companies. They "... need to tell a compelling story about a client or colleague which will capture the attention of the media and generate placement with a magazine, newspaper, website, television or radio station." Yeah I quoted. I was too lazy to type it all. More than anything, I'm considering pursuing a career as an editor. I love editing papers and telling people what they did wrong and what they can do better. 

This is Roger Rabbit by Sleeping With Sirens. No screaming, I promise. This is my favorite song by them. It's beautiful. I used to listen to this senior year almost every night. On repeat. 

My 4th of July weekend. Honestly, it could have been better. My family and I went to Woodhaven for the weekend. There were so many people. My dad's coworkers were there, my dad's friend Allison, her son and her husband, some creepy guys who wouldn't stop staring at me, and my brother and Sarah were there. It was so crowded. There were so many bugs. And my brother and Sarah were kinda in their own little world, which is as expected. So I just hung out by myself. On Saturday my mom and I took a twenty minute bike ride along all the trails there. That was exhausting. But we stopped at the market and bought popcorn and cake pops. Those were awesome. Then Sunday morning.. Luis called me. I didn't want to answer. So I ignored it. But he kept calling. So I finally answered. He started asking me if  I hated him. Oh how I wanted to tell him that I did. But I couldn't. I can't be mean to him. Even after all the hurt he's put me through, I just can't fucking.. hurt him back. He started talking like we used to, just about everything. And even asked if I wanted to hang out again. Then he started flirting with me. He is still dating Gabbi. That's all he is. A fucking liar. I don't mind being his friend still, but fuck. Just leave me alone. 

Enough of that. 

So yeah. Changing careers, my weekend, and my shitty ex boyfriend. That's pretty much all I got right now. I'm trying to convince my parents to let me drive again. Its not going so well. I'm just gonna drive. I don't even care anymore. I can't stay cooped up like this. I need to see you guys. I need to get out of this house and go back home. Lake in the hills isn't my home. It never will be. My home will always be in Rockford. In that little house on Charlotte Drive. Never here. Never.