With Luis, I've come to realize that he's not the one treating me bad, but I'm the one who is treating him like crap. A relationship takes two people. You can't expect some guy to come in on a magic unicorn and sweep you off of your feet, then take ahold of the entire relationship. That's not how it works. And I've come to realize this. Right now, I don't have a connection with Luis, and who knows, maybe I never will. But at the moment he truly does make me happy and does everything he can to keep it that way. And the only reason he gets mad at me is because I don't talk to him, and I'm usually only concerned about myself. That's terrible. And now that I've realized this, I'm working to change it. I know you ladies don't like Luis and assume the worst of him, but he truly is a really good guy. He cares for me and is willing to put his life on the line for me. I realized this in the accident on Sunday. I'll get into that in a bit. Anyways, he made sure that I was okay and not injured before he even worried about himself. He even pulled me through the passenger side door while I was disoriented and trying to get out the drivers side, where cars were driving. I probably would have gotten hit by a car if he hadn't pulled me over to his side. He even traded his coat with me when I was cold and waiting for the cop to file the accident report. He didn't even worry about himself until after he knew I was okay. And he still is constantly asking if I'm alright. And about a week ago, we went to a concert together. My very first concert. It was freezing, and we had to stay outside in the cold for an hour before they opened the doors to let us in. Luis was worried about me getting sick, and told me we should go find someplace warm to stay in until the doors opened. I told him no. Why? Because I was stubborn and thought that waiting in line out in the cold would be better. So he gave me his coat and froze for me. I tried giving him his coat back, but he wouldn't take it. Then when we got into the concert, he wanted to go into the middle of the crowd with me and actually enjoy the concert and have the full experience with moshing and carrying people above my head. I again said no. My reasoning for this was kind of solid. I mean, I'm afraid of crowds and am extremely claustrophobic with people. But still, you can't just blow off our guy like that. That's not fair. Even when I had no money, he made sure I was fed and okay. I'm only telling you ladies this because I care about you, and I want you to be able to accept the boy I care about as well. I'm the one who messed everything up in my relationship, and now I'm going to fix it. I may not even end up with Luis in the future, but I'm going to try because I truly care about him, and I need you guys to see that he really does care about me and is willing to sacrifice everything he has in order to make me happy.
On another note. I'm sorry this is getting so long, but I have a lot to catch you guys up on, and this is the only free time I've had in awhile. So yeah. I got in an accident on Sunday. The front end of my car is totaled, and now I don't have a car. Here's a couple pictures of my poor baby.
So yeah. There's my baby. She got pretty hurt. And now she's dead. So... my dad and I are gonna hopefully buy a car tomorrow.
Anyways.. I miss you all horribly. And I feel like you guys are slowly beginning to not care about me anymore. I'm sorry I've missed just about everything you have done recently. I truly am extremely busy. I'm working a lot in order to pay for things like my car and insurance and stuff. And even after that its really difficult to have enough money left over to be able to drive to places. Which I can't do anyways at the moment since I lost both my license and my car.. But yeah. So.. I'm sorry. And I want you guys to know that I feel unloved and unwanted by you. I'm sorry that I can't make it to anything you do. It would be a lot easier if I still lived in Rockford. :(
Well.. I'll stop bugging you ladies, and I hope you can understand that I'm being sincere and I'm not trying to be mean. I still love you ladies from the deepest depths of my heart. I just don't want to ever lose you.
Avec amour,
Marissa
Marissa, we love you so much, and don't think for a second that would ever change. You are like a sister to me. You are such an important part of my life and I miss you so much. I hope that you are okay. I know that you said you didn't get hurt but I still am worrying about you.
ReplyDeleteLove,
Sara
Marissa the first thing I want you to know is that I don't have a problem with Luis. As weird as that might sound. He seems like a nice guy, but I just don't want you to think of yourself less to make him like you. If you are dating its because you both care for each other for who you both are. I probably should tell you this in person but its probably time before I see you. Dont feel bad about not wanting to go into the crowd. He should understand that you don't feel comfortable in a crowd. There is nothing wrong with that. That is not a problem. True, a relationship is an effort from both sides which also means that you learn to understand and accept each other. If you think your relationship will work then fight hard for it and prove us wrong. Just don't change your own personality for it. We love you for who you are: caring, funny, cheery, and a friend; and he should too. No comparisons.
ReplyDeleteAnd as for your accident. As Sara said I still worry even though you said you are fine.
You can always count on me.
Gardenia