Peter Pan

Oh look is this my fourth post in a matter of days? Why yes, yes it is. Something that seems to be coming up more often is the matter of growing up. And I want to throw my thoughts in on the matter. I wanted to upload just music so you guys could listen to Ribs by Lorde while you read but I can't seem to find a way to do that. So I'll just put a link for anyone with a computer to open another window and multi-task. You don't have to, I'm just saying it relates.

 

 

 

Or you could just go with the video I managed to get on the page.

I'm not saying the whole song relates just like... you'll know what I mean.

 

Ok I'll get started.

 

I'll be honest and say, yeah it sucks growing up. Going to work and school in high school sucked. I felt like I missed out on stuff in my teenage years. But I had to work in order to pay for my car otherwise I would be walking everywhere and I would never have a ride. Honestly, I haven't felt like a kid in forever. It seems like the only thing I don't have to pay for is housing, food, and education. I need new shoes? I have to work to pay for them. I need some new jeans? Same thing. I have barely any long sleeved shirts for the winter? Better put more hours in. I can't remember the last time someone bought me clothes other than for Christmas (and then for that I'm just like, no don't get me clothes because you don't know what I like, because my family always does that). I think I had to pay for my own school supplies senior year. I feel like I've already been taking care of myself in a way for years already and it already sucks. Can I go back to before I had periods? No because that was before most of you girls and I don't want to live without you.

 

My mom still has a hard time treating me like an adult. Almost like she won't let me be an adult. Me and Julian like to make last minute plans sometimes and just go out and do something. So then my mom gets pissed at me for not being home for dinner or if I don't want to come home so I can go out to dinner with her and my dad. But because I'm an adult, I don't go home when she gets pissed at me. I can take care of myself now and I can make my own decisions. Sure, I deal with the consequences when I get home when she gives me attitude or the silent treatment but she's the one who will eventually have to learn that it's my life and I will do what I please... within reason.

 

Both my parents are concerned for me when I go do something new in a different place, more so my dad than my mom. I get tired of hearing the "be safe" talk and stuff or being scolded for going somewhere alone. I know the dangers and how to be smart but I really don't care, I want to experience something new! I'm not going to not go somewhere just because I'm alone, I want to explore. I mean seriously, I should have been born hundreds of years ago because I would love to be an explorer. And when I come to visit you Alex, we should go somewhere in Chicago. I don't care where, I just want to see Chicago without my parents. I don't even care if we're just wandering the streets. I want an adventure...

 

I don't know what to do with my life. I'm pretty sure now I don't want to pursue theater. I'm doing absolutely fine without it. That's another thing about growing up: the future is sometimes so uncertain, it's scary. If there's one thing I will never regret, it's leaving Aurora. A few people, including my mom, have told me that they think it was a mistake for me to leave Aurora and give up so soon. I really hate it when someone tells me that. Like, they don't understand what I felt and what I was thinking throughout the whole process of choosing a college and moving in and doing stuff to be prepared. My mom really rushed me to make a decision on where to go. I wanted to go to Chicago but I never heard back from UIC and my mom kept pushing me to make a decision. I don't know, I don't really want to talk anymore about it. I know I'll eventually figure out what I want to do with my life and that's all that really matters to me.

 

So, in the form of adventure, I'm ready to grow up. Everything else could just go away. I want to experience what the love of my life will be like and how it feels to be so in love. I want a wedding. I want to wear a big beautiful dress like a princess and go on a honeymoon to a tropical place. I want to make a library out of a room in my house like I've always dreamed of. I want to see the world and all the people in it. I want to get on a train and keep going and see where I end up, just for the thrill of it! I want to go to Poland and see Zuza. I want to go on a pub crawl across Europe and just sample so many types of drinks. I want to see what the Amazon Rainforest looks like in person. I want my dream of traveling to Ireland to be a reality. To see the beautiful green landscape. See the little towns. Visit Dublin. Cork and Galway. Guinness. I want to see Stonehenge with my own two eyes before I go blind. I want to go to the moon. See the earth from a distance. Fit it in the palm of my hand. Jump in slow motion. Be a little closer to the rest of the universe. I want to see the places that inspired some fairy tales. To see the real Cinderella Castle in Germany. Sleeping Beauty's inspired castle. The Museum of the Brothers Grimm. I want to see Vincent Van Gogh's original paintings in front of me.

 

Can I go now?

 

 

 

GARDENIA YOU READ MY EXACT THOUGHTS

About the France thing...I just got up today and one of the first things I thought about was going on a trip. I think it's because I've been hearing a lot of people lately talking about going backpacking across Europe for the summer or road tripping all down California. (of course they are a bunch of rich kids who have the money for that) And I've really been considering it. Why can't we do that? One thing that I've learned while I'm at school is that even though I don't feel like an adult (And let's face it, anyone who says they do is a liar. Being an adult isn't a feeling, it's an action), I do realize that now I can do whatever I want. Honestly. Some days I'll just take the train to some part of the city and I'll just wander around for a little while. I'll lay in my bed all day, just reading. I'll eat ice cream three times a day because there's no one to stop me. Now I know it's kind of impossible for you guys to just take the train anywhere, but we have reached an age of independence that we've never had before. Like Gardenia, you were surprised when you're parents let you stay out so late after the game. We're responsible for getting ourselves up, getting to school, doing our homework, finding jobs, solely for the benefit of ourselves. Because we know the only way to get what we want for ourselves is to do these things. Everyone always says that the decisions you make as a teenager affect the rest of your life. I don't think that's true. It's the decisions we make in these next ten years that are going to shape who we become. This is when we strike out and find out who we really are. Everything after this is a dismal abyss of mundane domesticity. We have to experience as much as we can now or we'll spend the rest of our lives regretting it.

So, with that said, I think it would be a great idea to go on a trip. Now, I don't think it's possible to do it next summer or anything, but I was thinking in three or four years, maybe as a graduation thing, because, let's face it, hardly anyone has a job, and we kinda need money for these things. So, a couple years from now, give us plenty of time to get jobs and start saving as much as we can. And then just go somewhere. Anywhere. We could go to France, like Gardenia said, another country in Europe, or a bunch of different ones since everything is so close. We could go to somewhere in Asia, go on an adventure like Marissa said. We could even stay in the U.S. and go on a road trip. I know everyone always slights the U.S. but I've been on so many vacations around the country and I'm convinced we have one of the most badass countries in the world as far as beauty and diversity. Or we could go up into Canada. There are so many possibilities.

So, if you guys are serious about wanting to do it, let's start throwing ideas out there. We can get together over Thanksgiving or Christmas break and really have a serious discussion about it. It could just be a transient spark of ambition, but I'm all aboard with this because it would be amazing. I think I'm gonna go out and buy a notebook just for planning this. We can really do it! We just have to work hard and stay committed, and the pay off will be so worth it.

Let me know what you guys think!

Alex

BRING THE HOLY WATER

Ahoy there!
I told you ladies that I'd be fine. I'm completely ecstatic! Well not completely.. I may or may not be putting up a front for myself in order to believe that I am not unimaginably miserable. But who knows? I can't tell, not anymore.
Anyways! I seriously feel like I'm missing out on my entire life being in a relationship. I can't do anything anymore! I have to put him before anything else.. But.. I don't wanna. I'm only eighteen. I should be enjoying my life. Not tying myself to one person and only experiencing life with that person. Sure he wants the same things I do, like travelling, adventures, and so on and so forth. But whats the fun in adventuring but not really exploring? I want to be able to point out hot guys without him getting mad. I want to be able to enjoy the things I do without someone in the background constantly complaining or yelling at me for not doing what they want. I want to.. be alone sometimes. But when you're in a relationship, you can't have that. For those of you searching for a relationship.. I'm not trying to detour you away. I just want you to know that it is difficult, and that getting too serious about it is not a good idea. You're young! Enjoy your life! Don't waste a year of your single lives! You get to do whatever you want, whenever you want, and say whatever you want about it, and you don't have to worry about your guy getting upset about it.

Most of the time I enjoy being in a relationship. It's nice to know that there is a strong shoulder for you to cry on if you need it. And I love the fact that I can cuddle up with him and watch movies all the time. But.. there's a lot of stuff that I'm missing out on. I suppose everyone in a relationship goes through this at some point. And it's about time it hits me. I'm afraid for the future. I don't think I'll be happy, you know? But I'm also afraid of being single. And I've gotten so close to Luis and his family. Is it even worth it to just throw that away over a little bit of doubt? I don't know. Does anyone even know? Probably not.

I really miss you guys. I miss those sleepovers where we would stay up until three am and do crazy shit. Yes. Play weird games, watch Pitch Perfect. And I miss all your voices. Sara especially. I haven't seen you more than anybody. I miss when you would join me in my random escapades. SEERRAAAA. I just.. I miss our little Ohana.

I love how I'm only talking about my feelings. I don't even talk about what I do anymore. It just feels so.. unimportant. And quite frankly I don't even care about what I've done lately. And I'm a little frustrated at myself for letting it get this bad. Since when do I not have little adventures to tell you guys? It's so disappointing!

Well I'm done complaining for now.
Au revoir,
Marissa

I've finally lost it.

I don't know if this ever happens to any of you guys but it happens to me every now and then. I'll wake up in the middle of the night from a dream about doing homework or being at work, and I'll believe that I really need to get up and do my homework or get back to the work. While I'm awake. But then somewhere in the back of my mind I'll remember "it isn't real, I just have to get up and walk around to wake myself up a bit." So I'll get up and walk around and that feeling of having to get something done will leave and I'll be back in reality and go back to sleep.

Not this morning...

So I've been getting these bad migraines that are focused in one spot on the back of my head and it's one of the most painful things I have ever experienced. They've been getting more frequent (and I hate my doctor because she's like "oh well its not what I thought it was so no need to worry" and I'm like bitch this is my brain!) and I usually wake up with them in the middle of the night. So this morning I woke up around 5 and my head felt like it was just starting to get one these migraines. I was so convinced that there were little people inside my brain trying to destroy that part of my brain... no joke. So in the back of my mind I'm thinking "it's just like the other stuff, you just got to get up for a little bit." So I get up, walk around a little, go out to the kitchen and take more cold medicine, and then go back to bed.... but I still believed there were little people trying to invade my brain! I totally believed that up until the moment I fell back to sleep too.

My old doctor is back in Rockford so I'm going to see her about my brain... hopefully she can get rid of the little people...

la la la la

Ahh! It makes me so happy to see you all posting! I was getting worried that no one was using the blog anymore and that I was posting to the ghosties. I really do feel like this is a group diary, and I think that makes our bond stronger.

Hmmm... well, lets see, on the Thursday movie night with Emma and Connor we watched The Emperor's New Groove. Then Connor and I made a deal that he would watch the first episode of Supernatural if I would watch the first episode of Doctor Who, so we watched them, and then we watched the second Supernatural episode, and by then it was 2:00 in the morning, so he walked me back to my dorm. I found out that he watched a few more episodes after that (he ended on the airplane one). I told him that we have to do another Supernatural/Doctor Who marathon night again, and he suggested either next Friday or Saturaday. ("Yellow" by Coldplay) Then on Friday night a group of girls on my wing came knocking on my door asking if I wanted to watch a movie in the lounge with them, so we watched Moulin Rouge, and I absolutely loved it, even though it made me cry. It was a fantastically beautiful movie. Umm... Saturday I don't really remember what I did. Sunday was just not a good day. I was highly unmotivated and lethargic and just sort of lonely. I ended up on the phone crying to my mom about how I just wanted to go home. Some days I just want to curl up under my blankets and tune out the world, but then I remember that if I did that the world would just keep pushing on without me, leaving me in the dust, and honestly, I'd rather be in the middle of everything than watching from the sidelines. ("If I Ever Feel Better" by Phoenix)

Tuesday I had a calc exam, and I'm feeling pretty good about it. Tonight I had a chem exam that started at 7:00, and I feel mentally drained. I mean, I think I did well, I'm just exhausted, but I really don't feel like sleeping. ("Danielley's Song" by Jetty Rae)

I shaved my legs for the first time this week tonight. Feeling pretty proud of that.

So, this Tuesday's episode of Supernatural had me crying so much. I started sobbing the minute the man called Cas Clarence, and I just kept crying off and on all the way to the end of the episode. I felt like my heart was ripped out of my chest, thrown down the stairs, ran over by sixteen cars, and then mauled by a rabid bear.("Mayfield" by Augustana)

Do you ever plan out how you wish things would happen in your head? Like, do you create these elaborate scenes that if they were to come true, you would just be on cloud nine? But, at the same time that you are wishing that these things would happen, you tell yourself not to get your hopes up, because you're only going to be disappointed the more you think about it. But then you can't stop thinking about it, because you've just created this perfect fairy tale life in your head that you don't want to leave, because it's better than what's currently happening. And there's that chance that it may happen. There's that voice in the back of your head that just keeps whispering, "What if?" Then reality kicks in and you realize that you've got to wake up from your dream world, grab your baggage, and carry on. Yeah, I do too. ("And Then You" by Greg Laswell)

Well, I suppose I should probably get some sleep at some point. I've been starting to doze off a little as I've been writing this, so I think I'll go to bed.

Love,
Sara

Broke and hungry

So I'm currently waiting for class to start. A few more hours. :( so as I have mentioned so many times before. Life is quiet and uneventful...wake up, get ready, school, go home, eat, breathe in smell of homework and papers, do homework and papers, eat some more, shower, sleep. Its just another routine, but compared to Saras life mine is quiet. Here Sara is out on a movie night, staying up late, etc.. what happened to little Sara who was asleep by 9 pm?
So enough complaining...I'll continue to breathe. So my aunt is leaving this weekend back to Texas. :( that is really sad. Sorry I said no more complaining. So how have you guys been?
I really have to give this Zelda game a try it sounds very interesting and adorable!!!
It may sound pitiful but I literally watched four episodes of lilo and stitch last night. The good old times. Lilo and stitch are soooooo cute. I've decided to name my future daughter lilo. Whether first, middle, or nick name. Idk how you guys managed to post something so lenghty...but I'm determined to equal it with my boringness.
For those who haven't read pride and predujice you really need to. I'm still not done but its getting good. Very slow to pick up at first.
Ummm. The melted cheese slowly spilling over tgw side of the bun...the fresh green salad...the tasty juicy piece of meat...the jalapeños. Sorry I'm hungry and craving a jalapeño crunch steakburger from steak and shake. We should go sometime. I've also wanted a shake since last Friday. But I'm broke. I spent what I had on a volleyball senior night match and subway.... subway was good. Ughh no more complaining. I am going to eat hot cheetohs that I packed from home after waking up late.
I'm pulling an Alex right now and just posting a stream of thoughts. So I was writing my English paper topic proposal and after submitting it I came to sit down by calc guy and we were talking math stuff. But before he actually left he came back to the table and told me to stay out of trouble with a wink. He asked if I was talking dirty with u guys, was typing this post at that moment. I feel like I'm missing something....hmmm.
*crunch * eating a nutter butter
*crunch* *crunch *  hmmm trying to think of something else to say. Wait I'm going to listen to Pandora and see what I can come up with. getting my earbuds out. Going to click the icon............ hmm I'll wait to sing to the next song. So ohana. That is going to be my new quote. Oh god I'm going psycho over lilo and stitch. Noooo!!! That proves females are really psychos! Have the urge to runs around and pull my hair.
I know I'm probably boring you, so I'm not going to say what Alex said... I'm going to tell you to suck it up and keep reading like the good friends you are. Jk. U can stop
I really want to see the Croods. And I still have to go buy it... :/ finally the next song!!!!! Non its Carrie underwood. Next... so I'm trying to get back into a pop free diet and its so hard. Idk how I did it a while back..... oh no the advertisement is abt food! The green color of a mountain dew, its attracting my eyes :0
"Shut up and put your money where your mouth is that's what you get for waking up in vegas..." lalalalalallalalalalalall something lalalal.... "get up and shake off the glitter something something that's what you get for waking up in Vegas.." OK enough waking up in Vegas. Anyone want to go to France? I'm up for planning a trip soon. And by soon I mean once I'm not broke and working. Almost nineteen and jobless!! :0
Yea I can't think of anything else. I've failed my mission. Wait...
Trying
To
Think
Of
Something
Else
To
Say
Must
Match
Length
Of
Other
 Posts.
Oh
By
The
Way
This
Is
G.
Love
Posting
As
Alex
Wilks.
Don't
Know
Why
But
Its
Cool.
Maryanne
Hid
Under
Table
Yesterday
In
Her
English
 Class
Very
Funny.
Lol.
Apperantly
Got
Gum
Stuck
In
Hair.
Not
True
Though
Had
Lost
Her
Phone
In
Room.
Geez this is tiring. So going back to normal..." so I'm sober now..." na na nana ..."if I end up happy I would break...I would break away....I spread my wings and learn how to fly...I won't forget all of the ones that I love...and breakaway...nanananana...want to feel the warm beat." That was long, I just love Kelly clarkson. Don't know abt you but breakaway is my favorite. I guess from watching princess diaries. Love that movie.
"I wanna slap you..." that's pink
OK guys I'm done
Bye,
 G

Merry Christmas!

                    Here it is as promised! The slight continuation to my "Nerd Post" blogs! Enjoy! Remember, if you can't see it, I believe you can click on the image to make it bigger.

Let's get started

 

So I tried to do a little bit of a bunch of different things and I'm not so sure how to approach this:

Sorry if this is a jumbled mess!

 

While we're on the subject of LOTR and The Hobbit:

Let's admire Legolas

 

 

 

 

 

 

And just for the heck of it:

 

 

:P

 

 

Keep Calm and one more month til the 50th anniversary

 

So in honor of Doctor Who I have to post at least a couple pictures

 

 

 

 

 

Christmas day Matt Smith will be leaving Doctor Who :'(

What kind of Christmas present is that!

Anyways,

 

I think we all need to be a bit more like Dumbledore...

 

: )

 

Here's some random Harry Potter:

 

 

This picture of Tom Felton used to be the background on my phone like 3 years ago.

No joke.

 

 

I seriously miss following Snape on Twitter. I want to get a Twitter just to follow him.

 

 

I'll do this for you ladies...

 

 

0.0

 

 

He should have tried:

 

 

 

 

 

 

This is one of my favorite bloopers xD

 

Let's have a Twilight moment real quick

 

 

 

On a more serious note, The Book Thief movie come out on November 14th. I am really looking forward to this...

 

 

And one of my favorite quotes:

 

 

Back to the funnies

 

 

 

 

This is so me. And on Tuesdays for Supernatural.

 

Couple video games:

 

 

This is exactly what I was thinking at the time.

 

 

I'm trying to please the people even if I know nothing of Zelda. I hope this was sufficient.

 

Allegiant came out yesterday but I found this that totally described me after finishing Insurgent:

 

 

And I have no idea who hasn't read the Divergent trilogy, but like the rest of this stuff, I don't care. Deal with my pictures : )

 

 

And I'm still having mixed feelings about this movie...

 

But this is great:

 

 

 

Which crosses over to

 

 

I don't remember if she did in the books but I know she didn't in the movie.

 

I wanted to include Lost but since Alex is watching it, I didn't want to give much away so

 

 

Winding things down a bit...

Marissa got me thinking of tattoos. I still want to get that tree on my back but I went looking for cute ones.

 

 

And I'm really liking the whole bird idea. I have since I read Divergent.

 

 

I'm not sure if I've posted this one before or if someone else has but its still cool.

 

And of course there's this one

 

 

Here's a random picture of a kitten

 

 

Now it's time for the end. You guys know I like to put deep, meaningful Doctor Who quotes that I truly believe in at the end of these. So why let you down?

 

 

The way I see it, life is a pile of good things and bad things. The good things don't always soften the bad things, but, vice versa, the bad things don't necessarily spoil the good things or make them unimportant.