la la la la

Ahh! It makes me so happy to see you all posting! I was getting worried that no one was using the blog anymore and that I was posting to the ghosties. I really do feel like this is a group diary, and I think that makes our bond stronger.

Hmmm... well, lets see, on the Thursday movie night with Emma and Connor we watched The Emperor's New Groove. Then Connor and I made a deal that he would watch the first episode of Supernatural if I would watch the first episode of Doctor Who, so we watched them, and then we watched the second Supernatural episode, and by then it was 2:00 in the morning, so he walked me back to my dorm. I found out that he watched a few more episodes after that (he ended on the airplane one). I told him that we have to do another Supernatural/Doctor Who marathon night again, and he suggested either next Friday or Saturaday. ("Yellow" by Coldplay) Then on Friday night a group of girls on my wing came knocking on my door asking if I wanted to watch a movie in the lounge with them, so we watched Moulin Rouge, and I absolutely loved it, even though it made me cry. It was a fantastically beautiful movie. Umm... Saturday I don't really remember what I did. Sunday was just not a good day. I was highly unmotivated and lethargic and just sort of lonely. I ended up on the phone crying to my mom about how I just wanted to go home. Some days I just want to curl up under my blankets and tune out the world, but then I remember that if I did that the world would just keep pushing on without me, leaving me in the dust, and honestly, I'd rather be in the middle of everything than watching from the sidelines. ("If I Ever Feel Better" by Phoenix)

Tuesday I had a calc exam, and I'm feeling pretty good about it. Tonight I had a chem exam that started at 7:00, and I feel mentally drained. I mean, I think I did well, I'm just exhausted, but I really don't feel like sleeping. ("Danielley's Song" by Jetty Rae)

I shaved my legs for the first time this week tonight. Feeling pretty proud of that.

So, this Tuesday's episode of Supernatural had me crying so much. I started sobbing the minute the man called Cas Clarence, and I just kept crying off and on all the way to the end of the episode. I felt like my heart was ripped out of my chest, thrown down the stairs, ran over by sixteen cars, and then mauled by a rabid bear.("Mayfield" by Augustana)

Do you ever plan out how you wish things would happen in your head? Like, do you create these elaborate scenes that if they were to come true, you would just be on cloud nine? But, at the same time that you are wishing that these things would happen, you tell yourself not to get your hopes up, because you're only going to be disappointed the more you think about it. But then you can't stop thinking about it, because you've just created this perfect fairy tale life in your head that you don't want to leave, because it's better than what's currently happening. And there's that chance that it may happen. There's that voice in the back of your head that just keeps whispering, "What if?" Then reality kicks in and you realize that you've got to wake up from your dream world, grab your baggage, and carry on. Yeah, I do too. ("And Then You" by Greg Laswell)

Well, I suppose I should probably get some sleep at some point. I've been starting to doze off a little as I've been writing this, so I think I'll go to bed.

Love,
Sara