Friday, May 16, 2014

I just don't know

Well here I am using my mom's laptop to write to you guys. Why? Because mine is a piece of shit. Hard drive crashed for the third time and when I finally got it back, the internet won't work for it. It says its connected yet no internet. So its back at the shop. I just want to chuck the piece of unreliable shit at the wall and be done with it.

Yes, I'm going to talk about Julian again, but mainly to get my thoughts out to make sense of them. Yesterday as I'm walking home from the carnival at East I got a text from Kim and ended up turning around and going back. I met her up at the third floor gym, and Julian was up there working the NHS booth. I'm not sure if he saw me, but there was no hello. I went with Kim down to the pit for the art show (where I saw some of the outfits Rey wore to prom... those were interesting). She had a sculpture in the show and wanted to show me (yes it was pretty cool). I then escorted her back to the third floor gym (I got my workout for the day). This time he saw me, but to wrapped up in all his other friends to even say hi. And when he finally did, it was a quick hi and then something about going somewhere and that was it. But it got me thinking of all the times I've been with him and his friends, and it makes me realize just where I stand with him. And it makes me feel like horse shit. I'm the outsider when I'm with him and his friends, and he usually ignores me; too busy right? I don't know about you guys but when I bring him or anyone else who doesn't know you guys with us somewhere, I make sure to include them; hell I stick with them most of the time. If Kim or Cassy are there, they make sure they're not forgetting about me. But him.... I'm gonna use a line from Once Upon a Time here. When he looks at me, I see nothing in his eyes. Like he doesn't even care. But that changes the minute its just us. Is it because he has no one else to entertain himself with? Or does he actually care? Whatever it is, its bothering me.

The seven months of gameplay for Skyim is also gone. I wanted to see something at the beginning and thought if anything, I could make a new save file so it wouldn't save over my probably over a hundred hours of gameplay. Well it did just that, and now I have to restart from scratch when I was probably almost done with the game. Gone just like that. Poof.

I finished finals on Tuesday and I go back for my theater class in four days. I really don't want too even if it is just building sets for three weeks.

I need to remember to go to RVC's graduation today... Brooke and I have to sing.

It's just not been a good past couple of weeks. I cannot begin to explain how much I'm looking forward to Marissa's house next weekend. Marissa you're awesome. So is everyone else.

I've been listening to Hank Green's new CD Incongruent and as much as some of the songs are really weird, I still love it. I really want to go see him in concert, but the closest he's getting is Denver, Colorado. I still want to go though.

Speaking of music, music from the TFIOS soundtrack. I wanna add so many of these quotes to my book and it's sooooo beautiful. AND I'M GOING THROUGH THIS PICKING OUT SOME QUOTES AND I NEARLY START CRYING BECAUSE I  CAN BARELY SEE MY ALL TIME FAVORITE QUOTE IN IT AND IT'S JUST PERFECT.

Sometimes all you need is twenty seconds of insane courage. Jus literally twenty seconds of embarrassing bravery and I promise you, something great will come of it.


I hope y'all are still wanting to go to the midnight premiere of this cuz I know Sara and I do.

I think (think) the last thing I have to say is that because of my freaking laptop, I have not been able to work on camping. My mom practically lives on this thing and the only reason I have it right now is because she's at work. Hopefully I'll get a working laptop back today or next week, and I can start working on it again.

I'm not sure when the next time I'll be on is, so au revoir.

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