Hey everyone :)

So this is my first post and I'm not really sure how to blog.... we'll see how this goes. J

Anyway, I thought I should finally talk about college (a subject I've been trying to avoid for.... I don't know, quite a while now). Truth is, I'm not sure I'm ready to leave for college. Last year at this time I was totally stoked to go away to college and experience something new and exciting. But now, all I want to do is pretend it doesn't exist. I'm not ready to leave my friends and family for long periods of time. I've been told I'll make new friends when I get there, and I know that's true, but that period in between leaving and feeling comfortable there is going to be really hard.

I suppose I should tell you that I'm going to Aurora University just in case any of you lovely ladies didn't know, or possibly forgotten (it's okay, it happens). The campus is beautiful and the class sizes will be small, which is a good plus. I have only really talked to two people who will be going there, one is actually going to be a Junior there this year and the other will be a commuter. I just got the news a couple days ago that not only will I have to worry about one roommate liking me, but I have two roommates.... I have no idea why I was put into an expanded room instead of a standard room (fits two people) but the letter did say that I was first on the list to be moved to a standard room if one becomes available for me. But you have to wonder how many people they told were first on the list to get moved. But anyways, I was terrified enough that I didn't know what one roommate would be like (will I get stuck with some crazy chick who does weird stuff, or will I, for whatever reason, be stuck with a girl who flat out hates me), now I have to worry about two roommates. I have yet to contact either of them because I'm not really sure what to say. I also convinced myself that it might take them a little longer to get their room assignments since they live in two different states. But I'm pretty sure they have gotten them by now...

Sometimes I'm able to accept the fact that I'm going away in 40 days (I'm not the one counting...), but mostly at night I start to get upset thinking about how, in 40 days, I won't be here. There's a part of me that wants to believe that I'm going back to East in the fall. That I'll be going into the auditorium again to clean or whatever. Or going to Miss Okey for advice. Listening to Mrs. Powers read or go on about something, anything. But I know that's not true. I just have to find a way to accept the fact that I graduated and I'm leaving for college soon.

Painting my brick in the auditorium was a bittersweet ending. But somehow it didn't feel real.

But I guess I'll leave it at that. I promise my next post will be more uplifting. :)

-Rachel